Original Intentions My Ass
by asylumchick97
Summary: Zetsu wants his book back from Deidara. I suck at summaries. Hot lemon is hot, so if you don't like it, don't read. Rated M for language and very hot man smex! Zetsu-seme/Deidara-uke.


I DON'T OWN THE CHARACTERS! Enjoy, and sorry if there are any mistakes :3

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Deidara exhaled deeply and turned off the shower. His last mission really took a lot out of him, especially since Tobi was being extra annoying. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist and shook his head. He sighed again and walked out into his bedroom. He stopped in his tracks, however, when he saw someone looking at his sculptures on his bookshelf. "What do you want, yeah?" He asked the bi-coloured man looking at a bird sculpture.

The man turned around and smirked. "Hey, Deidara, Is this a bad time?" Zetsu asked, motioning to the towel hanging dangerously low on Deidara's hips. Deidara rolled his eyes and walked over to his unwanted guest. "I'll ask again, un. What do you want?" Zetsu chuckled and picked up the bird, admiring the detail. "This is very good; you have a lot of artistic talent. **More so than that damn puppet**.**" **

Deidara looked at Zetsu with curiosity, then annoyance. He took the bird from his hands and set it back in its original spot. Zetsu smirked and walked over to the desk in the corner. "Relax Deidara, I just came back for my book. **You don't have to be a bitch,"** Zetsu explained, picking up a book with a bright orange cover and red lettering.

Deidara looked at the book and nodded. "You have you book un, now leave." He turned around and walked over to his dresser and proceeded to rummage through his drawers to get some clothes. He stopped though, when he felt a pair of hands land on his waist. He tensed when a warm breath ghosted across the back of his neck. "That was my original intention but, **do you really expect me to leave after seeing you like this?"** Zetsu smirked and licked the shell of Deidara's ear, making him shudder in delight. Zetsu hooked his finger underneath Deidara's towel and pulled it off, no problem. Deidara gasped as the cool air hit his hardening member.

Zetsu reached around and lightly grasped Deidara and started to slowly pump him. Deidara closed his eyes and bit his lip. "Original intentions my ass, un. You knew I was in the shower," Deidara mumbled as Zetsu continued to jerk him off. Zetsu just smirked and pumped faster. Deidara moaned fatser and bucked up into Zetsu's hand.

Once Deidara was hard enough, Zetsu stopped pimping him and threw Deidara on the bed. He landed with a yelp and looked at Zetsu with intent. Zetsu looked back at Deidara and became fully hard himself. Deidara just looked so fuckable. His hair still slightly wet and ticking to his face, panting hard and sporting a throbbing erection.

Zetsu stripped and walked over to the edge of the bed. It was at this moment that Deidara realized that Zetsu did not have his giant fly trap. "Ne, Zetsu. . .where's your big plant thingy, yeah?" Zetsu loved the way how Deidara looked so curious and innocent right now. "I can remove it at will. **That damn thing gets heavy at times," **Zetsu explained and crawled ontop of Deidara.

He quickly leaned down and captured Deidara's lips in a heated kiss. Deidara kissed back and Zetsu shoved his tongue deep into Deidara's mouth. Deidara moaned at the action and wrapped his arms around Zetsu's neck and pulled him close. Deidara was surprised to find that Zetsu didn't taste like raw meat or blood. In fact, he tasted sweet, like vanilla.

Deidara whimpered from the loss as Zetsu pulled away. He brought his hand down and started to tweak and pinch Deidara's nipple. Deidara gasped and moaned slightly and Zetsu smirked. Zetsu leaned down and whispered into the blonde's ear, "You know what, **we're about to have a three-some with only two people." **It was Deidara's turn to smirk. "True un, but you're forgetting about these," He said and brought one hand down to Zetsu's length and used his hand mouth to lick him up and down and used the other one to suck on his nipple. Zetsu groaned and bit his lip. "So, we're technically having a orgy, right?" Deidara asked with amusement in his voice. Zetsu smirked and replied with a bit of cockiness, "Yeah, I guess we are."

Zetsu leaned down and kissed Deidara roughly, loving how he gave into him so quickly. Deidara didn't even bother to try and but up a fight, he knew that he would end up being the uke, no matter what. Zetsu pulled away again and kissed all the way down to Deidara's neck, stopping at a spot the made him gasp. Zetsu started to suck and bite on that one spot, causing Deidara to squirm, gasp and moan.

While Zetsu continued to leave his mark, Deidara slid his hand down to Zetsu cock again and started to blow him with his hand. Zetsu moaned against Deidara's tan skin and nipped a bit too hard causing Deidara to yelp. Zetsu pulled away and smiled softly. "Sorry Deidara,** just your hand felt so good,"** Zetsu apologized and leaned down to gently lick the wound. Deidara whimpered and continued on Zetsu with his hand mouth.

Zetsu sat up, having enough of Deidara and his special hand, and presented his with three black fingers. "Suck, **or it'll hurt like a bitch,"** Zetsu instructed and then watched in awe as Deidara smirked slightly and took the fingers with no hesitation. Zetsu felt his cock twitch with excitement as he watched Deidara suck on his fingers. He could only imagine how he would do with his length, but decided against it and wait until another time.

After a few seconds, Zetsu ripped his fingers from Deidara's mouth, getting way too horny watching the erotic display. He trailed his fingers all the way down the blonde's perfectly sculpted body and stopped at his ass. He spread Deidara's cheeks and prodded the small puckered hole. Deidara moaned at the feeling and pushed his hips down slightly. Zetsu smirked and slowly pushed one finger in.

Deidara closed his eyes. It didn't hurt, but the feeling was a little odd. As Zetsu started to pump his finger in and out, stretching Deidara's hole, the blonde started to moan. Zetsu took this as a sign to enter another finger. Deidara winced slightly. This one did hurt. Zetsu started to slowly pump them and scissor his fingers to stretch Deidara more. Deidara started to pant as the small pain went away. Zetsu finally added the third finger causing Deidara to yelp slightly. "Relax, **it will help with the pain, **trust us," Zetsu soothed. Deidara looked up at Zetsu. Electric blue met golden yellow. Deidara smiled softly and willed himself to relax.

After Zetsu had stretched Deidara to his liking, he pulled away and positioned his slightly wet cock -thanks to Dei's hand mouth- and slowly started to enter him. Deidara cried out in pain. Zetsu was way big. "**We told you to relax,** it won't hurt as much if you do," Zetsu explained again. Deidara nodded and relaxed again, but he couldn't stop the few small tears that escaped his eyes. Zetsu gently wiped them away with his thumb as he continued to push in. Deidara whimpered and gasped as he was being entered and the sounds just turned Zetsu on eve more. He had to resist pounding into Deidara until the blonde went limp.

Once he was fully seethed, Zetsu paused, allowing Deidara to adjust to his size. Deidara stayed perfectly still, waiting for the pain to ebb away. As soon as it did, he wiggled his hips and nodded to Zetsu, telling him that he was ready. Zetsu nodded and pulled out, then rammed back in. When he did, Deidara threw his head back and moaned. Zetsu smirked. He found Deidara's prostate on the first try. He pulled out and rammed back in again, causing Deidara to clench the sheets.

Zetsu groaned and kept going at the pace he was going. Deidara tightened his grip on the sheets. "Faster, un!" Deidara moaned out. Zetsu's eyes widened a fraction, but then he smirked. "What do you say, Deidara? **Where are your manners?" **Zetsu teased and slowed his thrusts until he was barely moving. Deidara groaned and pushed his hips down, trying to get more of the friction he wanted. Zetsu halted and leaned down. "Come on Dei,** beg for it." **Zetsu grinned evilly and pulled out until only the head of his dick was inside. Deidara looked up and stared at both sides of the man above him. "Please un. Zetsu, please go faster, harder. Fuck me! Fuck me senseless!" Deidara begged and pushed down on Zetsu again. Zetsu smirked and licked Deidara's nipples. "Not bad,** but it'll do," **Zetsu whispered and rammed deep and hard into Deidara and listened to the pleasured moans of his uke beneath him.

Zetsu grabbed Deidara's hips and went deeper, causing his moans to go up an octave. Hit after hit to his prostate made Deidara see stars. He was close, so he shot his hand down and started to blow himself. (oh Dei and his special hands) Zetsu growled and pulled Deidara's hand away. "Don't do that, **I want to see if I can make you cum without me touching you," **Zetsu smirked then trusted extra hard, making Deidara scream. "I'm close Zetsu, hmm," Deidara panted. Zetsu groaned, "So **am** I!"

Just then the door swung open. "DEIDARA-SENPAI! CAN WE PL-" Both heads turned towards the door. "Zetsu-san! What are you doing to Deidara-senpai?" Tobi wailed, still standing in the doorway. Zetsu kept thrusting ans looked Tobi in the eye hole of his mask. "Deidara can't play, **he's busy playing with me." **Deidara bit his lip, trying to keep quiet until Tobi left. "Alright Zetsu-san, I'll play with Deidara-senpai later." Tobi said and shut the door.

Zetsu smirked and thrust harder and faster. "ZETSU, UN!" Deidara moaned as he came hard on both of their chests. Zetsu came moments later after feeling Deidara tighten around him. Zetsu pulled out and laid next to Deidara, pulling him close. Deidara smiled and fell asleep

Deidara walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He sat at the table and sipped at his drink. "Nice hair barbie," Hidan laughed and continued to eat his cereal. "Can you at least wait until I wake up, un?" Deidara mumbled. Hidan shrugged and ate another spoonful.

Tobi comes bounding in and starts to speak. "Hey Deidara-senpai! Can we play now? Tobi wants to play. Can we play the game you and Zetsu were playing last night? You know, the one where you were both naked and he was on top of you?" Deidara's eyes went wide and he spit his coffee all over the table. Hidan choked on his cereal, Kakuzu ripped the newspaper he held and Kisame fell to the floor laughing.

Once everything had died down, all eyes were on Deidara. He could do nothing but blush and sink in his chair. At that moment, Zetsu walks in and heads towards the coffee pot. Deidara quickly got up and placed his cup in the sink. Before he could run away, however, Zetsu smacked his ass. Deidara yelped and blushed more. "What the fuck happened between you two?" Hidan asked, pointing his spoon at the pair. Zetsu smirked and proclaimed proudly, "What eles? **We had sex."**

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Well? Whattya think?


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